I thoroughly enjoyed my maternity leave. It was definitely hard and exhausting at times, as Thomas was frequently fussy and required my attention most of the time. But I loved having the one-on-one time with him to bond. I initially felt guilty sending Lola to school, but I think it worked out best for everyone since she got to have fun at school and I got to spend time with Thomas.
I received so much support during the weeks after Thomas' birth (and the weeks leading up to it). We have such wonderful friends and family. We got so many hand-me-downs and gifts that I didn't really have to buy anything. We had over 10 meals delivered to us, which relieved me from cooking duties. My parents were here for Thomas' first four weeks to help with cooking, cleaning, and anything else we needed. And of course I got a lot of advice and moral support from my fellow mothers.
Going back to work wasn't something I was looking forward to, but I knew it was going to happen and would be a tough transition that I would just have to deal with. Thomas is going to O Baby Daycare until there is a spot for him at the Nest in June. It looks like a perfectly nice daycare, and my friend Marie just started sending her daughter there, but because it's unfamiliar to us, it makes things harder. We don't know the teachers or the kids or their teaching methods. Luckily Thomas is an infant and doesn't need much more than someone to hold and feed him, so he should be fine.
My first day back went pretty well. Thomas was content when I dropped him off, and Marie texted me to say he was sleeping peacefully when she dropped her daughter off. Joseph said he seemed happy when he picked him up too. The only negative was that he barely ate anything - 2.5 ounces, and he was there for over 8 hours. I figured he just needed to adjust to the bottle, since we had only given him three bottles previously (I selfishly would just rather nurse him than bottle feed and then have to pump).
Then the second day was pretty bad. They reported that he was "fussy", and he didn't eat anything all morning. He finally ate 7 ounces in the afternoon. But I had a meltdown that night. I felt so guilty that I wasn't with him to feed him, and it hurt me to know that he was unhappy during the day. I don't think I felt this way with Lola, but that's probably because she was with a nanny and only one other baby, so I knew she was getting plenty of attention. Plus she never had a problem eating while I was away.
Wednesday and Thursday went a little better, with Thomas taking more from the bottle each day. He was reported as "Content" on his paper, so that's reassuring. The teachers seem really loving, although we are still getting used to the logistics of a new daycare.
I'm hoping that Thomas just needs some time to adjust to daycare and eating from a bottle. Of course I'm worried about changing his environment again in June when he starts at the Nest. But at least I know and love all of the teachers there, so I trust that they will take great care of him.
Friday Thomas' school was closed for Good Friday, and Lola ended up having to stay home sick since she threw up twice overnight on Thursday. We had a relaxing day at home. Unfortunately the stomach bug hit me Saturday afternoon, so it was not a good end to my first week back. But I'm feeling better today (although still a little weak), and hopefully this second week back at work will go more smoothly. It will just take us some time to find our new normal.
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| Snuggles with my babies after a rough week/weekend |
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